Thursday, May 24, 2018
Growing up, I always kept my head down. Stay quiet and no one will notice you. Do what you can and not any more than that.
Not my best strategy as I later learned…
My parents certainly encouraged me to work hard and focus solely on academics. There was no time for anything else — socialization. Making friends was not important to them because they considered family as being all that you needed.
I remember conversations they had about the nice cars their friends were driving, the grand homes they were living in, and the stylish clothes they wore. They would say that style of living wasn’t for them. They didn’t need those things to be happy, yet, they often pointed it out. Simple was enough.
When I tried to dress a little nicer, curled my hair for school, they would say I was only doing those things to “show off”. Even as adult, they would say the same. As you can figure, my self esteem was low. Not only did they judge others, but they judged me. I fell into the comparison trap. Today, it still haunts me…
I see you and then I see me. Why is it taking me so long to get where you are? And how were you able to achieve your goals in just a few months?
Maybe I am destined to be who I am and you will always be one, two, or three steps ahead of me. (Always falling behind and failing to recognize my own value.)
You seem HAPPY. Do I appear that way to you?
I spend too much time wondering what it’s like to be you. (Focus on me, less on you.)
What do you do? How am I different? You have light hair and sun kissed skin. I have dark hair and spotted, dark skin.
Comparison does not equal joy, I know. But does it encourage you to be a better version of yourself.